Expectations

I think older child adoption issues have a lot to do with expectations.  When your child comes to you as a newborn there are little to no expectations.  You expect them to cry, want to eat, and poop.  And they live up to these expectations quite well.  In turn they expect to be loved and have their physical needs met. Which are easy enough to meet.  Now an 8 yr old is a whole different ball game.  I expect certain things from him as an 8 yr old and he has expectations of all of us for sure.  At first it took me a back that someone who has come from having just his basic needs minimally met could expect and demand so much.  I became irritated with him that he would be so ungrateful and expect to have whatever he wants, whenever he wants. And then I realized that his behavior points to the hope that he has managed to hold on to.  The hope that his life would change, that it would be the opposite of what he has had.  That he could go from nothing to having everything.  What hope must a child have in the face of adversity, what faith to have such high expectations.   And yes he will learn that more is not always better.  And he will learn what it is to be in a family and what is love, and what is a need and a want.  But for now I will try and remember that his "selfishness" stems from just a deep seated hope that he has held on to for so long;  That his life would change instantly.  I know that we will continue to all grow and figure out each other, and that in the end our realities will far exceed our expectations.  I know we will all begin to change our expectations and see each other for who we really are and love will cover it all. May God's love fill in the gaps of our longings and teach us true love as we love one another.

Hip-Hip-Hooray

Yay!  We passed court!  Actually last week, but internet has been sketchy and it wouldn't let me sign in to post a new blog.  The day of court when it was time to go in and see the judge,  J grabbed both of his brothers on either side of him and they all put their arms around each other.  And that's how they walked down the hall, in brotherly solidarity having faith that this time it would turn out good.  The whole time in the court I was nervous because of what happened last time, but was so relieved and grateful that the ruling was favorable!  J and all of us were very happy the whole day, it was what we all had been waiting for, for SO long.  Our days are filled with the boys playing games, playing in the pool, eating out, doing school, figuring out our new family dynamic.... It will be a challenging road for us all, but so rewarding.  Every day presents challenges as I learn how to be his mommy and he learns how to be my son and a brother.  But each day also brings such joy laughter as sweet moments are shared.  Yesterday I was awakened by J loudly singing worship music and praying out loud on his bed.  Cade joined in the best he could, not knowing all the same songs.  They did this for about 30 minutes.  When I went in Das had his ears plugged and said, "Mom, it's so annoying can u please make them stop?!"  lol  Another time J was telling me about how somebody had wronged him and he said, " Mom you know I forgive her though because that is what the bible says to do."   Wow! Forgiveness is so hard.  For so long God has seen it fit to not change his circumstances, but change his heart.  To not hold grudges, to trust and have faith that God had a plan for him.  J is such an example to us all and I feel honored God has chosen me to be his mother.  Please pray for him during this transition time and pray things can get done speedily and the seven of us can all be under one roof!  Thank you dear friends for your support and prayers!!

Well, here we go again!

Court, take 2! We leave in 2 days!! We got a new court date, almost 2 months to the date we had one the first time. It has been hard to be away from J after meeting and spending time with him in UG.  I am truly thankful that we have not waited as long as it could have been, especially for J's sake who is so ready for us.  Sometimes delays keep happening and in the large scale of things this isn't that long.  During the time home it has been fun to do little things to prepare for him; like get the boys room ready with matching comforters, Brett made desks for all of them, change pictures in our house to include more pics of J... 
I will fly out with the 2 boys and the 2 girls and Brett will stay here.  
It will be a hard time for us to have our family split but I know the end result is us all together, all 7 of us HOME.  
I actually think it will be most hard for Brett and I, I think the kids will be fine and be distracted and having fun.  But for us to not have our best friend around will be rough, we kinda like each other : )  

 Words cannot express our gratitude for all of you who have taken time to encourage, pray, and to give financially to help us bring our boy home.  As we begin this journey again please continue to pray that court will go smoothly and the required documents will get done in a timely manner after that. Pray for J through this huge transition in his life. Pray for the girls and Brett and those watching them. (thank you Nana, Aunt Kim, and the rest) I know they are in good hands. May God strengthen and bless all the little details in the upcoming future.  I will try and update while we are over there, so if you become a follower on the side it will notify you when I update.  Thanks again for your love, support, and prayers!  I am overjoyed that I get to go and hug my boy so very soon!

 
  Praise the LORD, all you nations; extol him, all you peoples. For great is his love toward us, and the faithfulness of the LORD endures forever. Praise the LORD. Psalm 117:1-2