Last Night

Tonight is the last night in our house.  A house we have called "home" for six years.  We have had six Christmas trees in this house and celebrated many birthdays.  When we first moved in we had three children; ages 3, 1.5, and 6 weeks old.  My daughter learned to crawl in this house, and then walk.  This was the house two of our children came home to us in, through the blessing of adoption.  I went out tonight and sat on my front porch and looked at all the neighbors houses and cried.  It was windy and the street was eerily calm.  If you know our street you know it is never calm.  There are always kids out playing and I know my kids will miss that so much.  As I sat there I thought this is the last time I could sit on this porch at 11 pm, without getting the cops called on me : )  It's such an odd feeling to stand in an almost empty house and remember the good times shared, hear the laughter and tears,  smell the holiday baking of the past, and feel the joy that has been ours here for the past six years.  I am happy for this next step in our lives and am thankful that we can keep up the friendships we have made.  And I am blessed that the 7 of us can have a new adventure together.  For J newly home and for us all, it's a good reminder of what family is. How lots of things can change around us, but family is always there.  May the Lord bless this move and help our family with this change.  I know we will fill the new house with many more memories and good times shared. 

Moms on the John

I have been a mother for over nine years now.  And although there are lots of things I now understand about motherhood, there are a few that still remain a mystery.  One of which is the bathroom issue.  And I know enough to know that this isn't solely in my household. Which is good to know really, it makes us all feel better to know that it's not just our own kids who are certifiably crazy.  It's true, in case you didn't know it; A mother going into a bathroom is somehow the most important person in the world at the moment. It's unexplainable, irrational, and frankly gross.  Seriously, why when I am literally crapping are my children so drawn to me?!  What do they think I am doing in there that they are missing out on?  Eating cake? (I wish)  Today I had 4 out of 5 of my children hanging around the bathroom door while I am in there.  At times little fingers go underneath the door, can't they smell what's seeping out?  Why do they want in?!  Are they afraid there is some escape route (again I wish) where I will leave from and never return?! Maybe it's that if they need anything they feel helpless because I am not visibly there.  Like what if they get hungry in the five minutes that I am in there and starve to death before I come out and give them some pretzels?  And when I did emerge I found one of my children out in our living room on the floor crying because he needed help with his math and I wasn't there to help him.  I mean sobbing.  Cause apparently when a mom goes in the bathroom somehow time gets lost for her children and 5 minutes seems like 50. And if they ask questions or need something and I tell them, "I am in the bathroom now, you need to be patient."  They let out this annoyed sigh.  Isn't it my right to go to the bathroom, isn't it part of being a human being? Isn't this one of the inalienable rights our founding fathers talked about?!  I am thankful for great women of the past who fought for our freedoms.  Yet I feel one was greatly overlooked and I might start a petition for a new amendment: A Woman's Right to Poop.  Who is with me?  

----And by the way somehow Fathers in the bathroom do not have the same appeal, no one hounds him. Gender Inequality at it's worst...

Finding Our Groove

 Wow, really this is the first time I have written since we came back?!  Weird... guess it's been a little crazy around here!  Being in Uganda for a month with my three boys, coming back to tax season in full swing, just now taking a breath I guess.  The above picture was taken when we visited his orphanage for the last time to say goodbye. Things have been really good around here when I stop and reflect.  Although, the day to day, moment by moment can sometimes seem overwhelming. It has been a HUGE transition for all of us.  I think I didn't realize how much different it is bringing an older child into your family as opposed to a baby.  When we brought our daughter home from Ethiopia she was coming in as the baby, somewhat of a natural progression.  But Jude is now the second oldest so everyone feels the shifting around a bit.  Next week we will have been home 2 months and I already see so many things getting better and running smoother in our day.  The things that are frustrating are so mundane that it seems silly to even write them but it's just constant, everyone seems to be sensitive and emotional and one of them is having a meltdown at any given moment.  And I at times just want to hide (in fact I have) in my closet once, I'm not proud. : ) And it didn't take my three year old long to find me, dang hide and seek pro...  It's just that it's intense all the time.  But when they are all in bed and I can reflect I am utterly amazed, truly, at how well they all are doing.  Jude especially is such an amazing, brilliant boy and he shows such good signs that he is bonding well to Brett and I and all his siblings.  I have not known a stronger 8 yr old.  He tells us when we are old he will take care of us.  We can come live in his house, but we are not allowed in his room. lol   Another time he was talking about something in his past that was negative and he said, " You know Mom, it is ok because all past is good"  He understands so much at a young age how God can work out all things for good for those that love Him.  He gives me hugs and kisses all day long and hangs on me constantly.  He is 70 lbs but I guess we have a lot of catching up to do! He absolutely adores Brett and I love seeing them interact. The three boys have a lot of fun together, you know wrestling, farting, talking about poop... What is with boys?! They do fight a lot as well, but not as much as they were a couple weeks ago so there is hope. 
Through it all I am constantly amazed at God's goodness and feel so blessed that I am allowed to be all of my children's mother.  I know even though it is so hard,  these five little souls are the ones God has chosen to be my sons and daughters and I want to love them like He does.




Here are some random pics, some taken in Uganda some back here in the good ol' U S of A.

                                                   At a cultural dance in Kampala, Uganda

                                           A house in the countryside, isn't Uganda beautiful?!

 Riding quads down near the Nile, with my friend Sheila and her two daughters.  She was there bringing her daughter home as well.  This picture cracks me up for so many reasons, part of which is the dust all over us and the oddly fitting jumpsuits. Also for the survival mode Sheila and I were in at the time, God is so good to provide friends just when we need them.

 

                                                 Jude and his fish with bone, that he loved!

                                                  DeVries Family reunited at the airport at last!!!

                                          The boys riding a camel at Entebbe Zoo, Uganda

                                               A dear friend and sister in Christ, Charity,
                                                    whom I was blessed to meet.

                                    
                                              Jude and Daddy, his first time at the beach

                                           Of course we had to get some taffy, which the
                                                dang sea gulls got into...

                                   And this pic was from our first trip in December when we all went.
                                   Told you these pics were rather random!

Expectations

I think older child adoption issues have a lot to do with expectations.  When your child comes to you as a newborn there are little to no expectations.  You expect them to cry, want to eat, and poop.  And they live up to these expectations quite well.  In turn they expect to be loved and have their physical needs met. Which are easy enough to meet.  Now an 8 yr old is a whole different ball game.  I expect certain things from him as an 8 yr old and he has expectations of all of us for sure.  At first it took me a back that someone who has come from having just his basic needs minimally met could expect and demand so much.  I became irritated with him that he would be so ungrateful and expect to have whatever he wants, whenever he wants. And then I realized that his behavior points to the hope that he has managed to hold on to.  The hope that his life would change, that it would be the opposite of what he has had.  That he could go from nothing to having everything.  What hope must a child have in the face of adversity, what faith to have such high expectations.   And yes he will learn that more is not always better.  And he will learn what it is to be in a family and what is love, and what is a need and a want.  But for now I will try and remember that his "selfishness" stems from just a deep seated hope that he has held on to for so long;  That his life would change instantly.  I know that we will continue to all grow and figure out each other, and that in the end our realities will far exceed our expectations.  I know we will all begin to change our expectations and see each other for who we really are and love will cover it all. May God's love fill in the gaps of our longings and teach us true love as we love one another.

Hip-Hip-Hooray

Yay!  We passed court!  Actually last week, but internet has been sketchy and it wouldn't let me sign in to post a new blog.  The day of court when it was time to go in and see the judge,  J grabbed both of his brothers on either side of him and they all put their arms around each other.  And that's how they walked down the hall, in brotherly solidarity having faith that this time it would turn out good.  The whole time in the court I was nervous because of what happened last time, but was so relieved and grateful that the ruling was favorable!  J and all of us were very happy the whole day, it was what we all had been waiting for, for SO long.  Our days are filled with the boys playing games, playing in the pool, eating out, doing school, figuring out our new family dynamic.... It will be a challenging road for us all, but so rewarding.  Every day presents challenges as I learn how to be his mommy and he learns how to be my son and a brother.  But each day also brings such joy laughter as sweet moments are shared.  Yesterday I was awakened by J loudly singing worship music and praying out loud on his bed.  Cade joined in the best he could, not knowing all the same songs.  They did this for about 30 minutes.  When I went in Das had his ears plugged and said, "Mom, it's so annoying can u please make them stop?!"  lol  Another time J was telling me about how somebody had wronged him and he said, " Mom you know I forgive her though because that is what the bible says to do."   Wow! Forgiveness is so hard.  For so long God has seen it fit to not change his circumstances, but change his heart.  To not hold grudges, to trust and have faith that God had a plan for him.  J is such an example to us all and I feel honored God has chosen me to be his mother.  Please pray for him during this transition time and pray things can get done speedily and the seven of us can all be under one roof!  Thank you dear friends for your support and prayers!!

Well, here we go again!

Court, take 2! We leave in 2 days!! We got a new court date, almost 2 months to the date we had one the first time. It has been hard to be away from J after meeting and spending time with him in UG.  I am truly thankful that we have not waited as long as it could have been, especially for J's sake who is so ready for us.  Sometimes delays keep happening and in the large scale of things this isn't that long.  During the time home it has been fun to do little things to prepare for him; like get the boys room ready with matching comforters, Brett made desks for all of them, change pictures in our house to include more pics of J... 
I will fly out with the 2 boys and the 2 girls and Brett will stay here.  
It will be a hard time for us to have our family split but I know the end result is us all together, all 7 of us HOME.  
I actually think it will be most hard for Brett and I, I think the kids will be fine and be distracted and having fun.  But for us to not have our best friend around will be rough, we kinda like each other : )  

 Words cannot express our gratitude for all of you who have taken time to encourage, pray, and to give financially to help us bring our boy home.  As we begin this journey again please continue to pray that court will go smoothly and the required documents will get done in a timely manner after that. Pray for J through this huge transition in his life. Pray for the girls and Brett and those watching them. (thank you Nana, Aunt Kim, and the rest) I know they are in good hands. May God strengthen and bless all the little details in the upcoming future.  I will try and update while we are over there, so if you become a follower on the side it will notify you when I update.  Thanks again for your love, support, and prayers!  I am overjoyed that I get to go and hug my boy so very soon!

 
  Praise the LORD, all you nations; extol him, all you peoples. For great is his love toward us, and the faithfulness of the LORD endures forever. Praise the LORD. Psalm 117:1-2